Accomplishing Community. (3 Imperfect Tips)


     We often express how important community is or that we want community. Yet, we seem to struggle to do what it takes to actually build it. You see, community isn't just formed over night, it is a long and sometimes grueling process. As kids, our community was formed because of common interests or placements (school, church, etc). But as an adult, it seems to be a bit more of a challenge because of time, distance, or season of life. So, how is community re-built as an adult? Below are 3 ways that I think might help but are still being workshopped ;) 

1. Community takes time. Some routes happen to be easier than others and I don't know why. But if you want good, solid community, then it's going to take some time. You might have to be willing to live in the discomfort of loneliness for a season (easier said than done). But don't give up. We often times expect that we are going to show up to one thing, one time, and magically feel at home or find long-lasting friendships - that is simply not the case. When young adults come to check out our ministry, I always encourage them to try it out a few times or go to some outside-the-main-ministry-night events, because community takes time to build and getting to know people in other settings is beneficial.

2. Community takes vulnerability. The best way I have ever heard intimacy described is: "to know and be known". That's it. Seems simple enough, right?  I think this definition of intimacy holds the hand of vulnerability. We all love to know things and we even love to know people, but do we practice the second half of that equation? Ah, it gets a little scarier now doesn't it? It's simply not enough to know but we must allow others to know us as well. This also takes time and willingness to trust. Authentic community takes vulnerability. Do you have some of those people?

3. Community takes boldness. When I first moved back to TN after graduating college, in 2018, it felt like I was new. Most of the friends I had grown up with had moved away or were in different seasons and I knew I needed to get plugged in but didn't know where or how. I knew I needed community because I was severely lacking in that department. I started attending my home church in early 2019 and almost immediately began serving just to try and meet people - granted it was in the nursery, but still - people. That led me to then look into their sports ministry and small group options. I found a couple just for young adult women in their 20's-30's. I reached out and went to whichever one responded first. It was in that small group that I met lifelong friends, grew, healed from a broken season, and experienced genuine joy and community. It was a little scary because, hello, I knew no one. But it was worth it because God had already gone before and behind me. So, ask that person to coffee or join that small group because you never know what the Lord might do.

     Community is such a hot and cold topic. It is achievable but it takes work and that work can be really difficult sometimes. There have been too many times in my life where I didn't have good community nor did I understand the need for it. But if we are to grow and be challenged and learn how to love and care despite our own flaws or the hurts from others then we need to take a step and break bread.


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