But What if You're Single and.... Happy?


I've been sent a few reels over the last couple months talking about singleness and the different feelings around it. One said that people will talk about 4 major relationship categories, 

1. Married and happy

2. Married and unhappy

3. Single and happy

4. Single and unhappy

And how one of the categories is talked about the least... can you guess which one? 

It's #3: Single and Happy. 

I've not done the research, so maybe that discounts all of what I'm saying or about to say, but as someone who routinely checkmarks the single box, my life and experiences are the research. Why is it that so few people talk about what it looks like to be single and happy? In my observation, it's because there often is one goal and one goal alone to strive for: "get married, have kids". And if those things are not happening then how could one possibly be fulfilled, whole, happy, or thriving? A good question. 

But what if I told you there was something else? That single people could feel whole, happy, fulfilled, and thriving while at the same time, knowing that some days having another person would be nice? I think I'm a testament to #3 and here are some of my reasons...

I am single and happy because no one has ever demanded that my worth is only in my relationship status.

I am single and happy because I have found that worth in Christ alone and strive to build that and live into it, daily. 

I am single and happy because I have a great community of friends around me that I can call up and enjoy all sorts of life things (coffee, travel, game nights, deep talks, conflict and resolution, dinner, etc). 

I am single and happy because I can say yes to whatever I want to say yes to. If I want or need to move, I just do it. If I want to hang out with people, I just hang out with them. If I want to travel, I just travel (finances pending haha). 

I am single and happy because if I want to spend money, I just spend my own money.

I am single and happy because I have not let my standards drop just to "fill the hole" of having someone.

Though I am certain that there are others, those are just the reasons that come to mind right away. Now most of the time, every action has an equal or opposite reaction right? It would only be fair to write from both sides... but that's not quite the point of this blog today. I'm not writing about all the ways that married life is wonderful - I know there are so many. And I'm not saying that there aren't days that I long for that version of life, with a strong man by my side - I'm human after all. It would absolutely be nice to have someone to share financial burdens with, have a built in person to do things with, have a warm body next to me when I feel fearful or face adversity. But all of those longings can coexist with my choice to be happy as a single person.

If you find yourself single today, whether that be by choice, by lack of interest shown in you, broken relationship, or death, we can choose to re-write the narratives of what it means to be a single adult (and married friends can help this!). Being single doesn't have to feel hopeless or pointless or sad all the time. It can be an avenue to one of the most rewarding and fulfilling versions of life that could possibly exist. But the only way that can happen is if you find your worth and significance in the one who created you, allowing him to show you the beauty of the path he has you on and leaning into it with joy-filled abandon.


p.s. the picture is me on Valentine's Day 2025. I've taken the same picture for 6 years and if there comes a day where a man fills that spot, then wonderful, but if not, it's a funny tradition that I enjoy doing.


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