Posts

But What if You're Single and.... Happy?

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I've been sent a few reels over the last couple months talking about singleness and the different feelings around it. One said that people will talk about 4 major relationship categories,  1. Married and happy 2. Married and unhappy 3. Single and happy 4. Single and unhappy And how one of the categories is talked about the least... can you guess which one?  It's #3: Single and Happy.  I've not done the research, so maybe that discounts all of what I'm saying or about to say, but as someone who routinely checkmarks the single box, my life and experiences are the research. Why is it that so few people talk about what it looks like to be single and happy? In my observation, it's because there often is one goal and one goal alone to strive for: "get married, have kids". And if those things are not happening then how could one possibly be fulfilled, whole, happy, or thriving? A good question.  But what if I told you there was something else? That single people ...

Awaiting the Holy Night - Mary's Perspective

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I wrote this post back in December 18, 2022 and never published it but with Christmas around the corner and joining my family in reading a chapter of Luke a day to celebrated Advent, I decided to circle back around to it. I know it may be taboo to read into how a Biblical character might have felt or what they might have thought, but adding personification to the people that we read so much about felt like an exciting venture. And besides that, The Chosen TV series came out around that time and it brought so many characters to life... giving them thoughts, feelings, and emotions so I felt that maybe I was in the clear (I mean, now anytime I read Jesus's words in Scripture, I hear Jonathan Roumie's voice). Below is my mind's rendering of how I imagined Mary (and Joseph) felt and what they might have thought the days leading up to and the night of Christ's birth.  --- What do you mean, I'm pregnant? Pregnant... at 15... with the coming Messiah?! I can't show my a...

Grief - It's Okay

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Grief. How does someone wrestle with the wounds it leaves?  It's a fog that covers a valley. It's a g-force against our lungs like we're on one of those carnival rides that spins so fast, you're pinned to a wall. It's a cloud that specifically rains on you when everything and everyone else is basking in sunshine. It's a numbness that can feel like an emotional void. And like a spinning record, it plays over and over again. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes from all sorts of occasions. There could be a seasonal grief due to weather changes and the days getting darker earlier after sunshine and late nights and warmth kissed you all summer. There's the grief of change: you move, you start a job / job ends, a bad grade occurs, your body isn't doing things the way it used to, and injury changes the course of what you thought life would look like. Then there's the relational grief. This is the one that surrounds you when you lose a relationship, when the...

Are you an Enneagram 2... or are you a woman in ministry?

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'Are you an Enneagram 2 or are you a woman in ministry" was a question that was posed to me about 2 years ago and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I was shocked when those words floated through the air and made their way into my brain. I didn't know if I should be offended, appalled, or if it was actually something I should genuinely consider. Whatever you might think of the enneagram, I have found it (like other personality assessments) to be a helpful tool in understanding how different people think and operate. As long as I'd known of it, I'd tested and claimed to be an Enneagram 2 (The Helper), with a wing 3 (The Achiever). When that question was posed to me, I was fairly adamant that I was a 2w3 based on the core fears and desires of that type. And if you don't know the language, a 2's core fear is being unloved, so they will do anything and everything to serve other people to feel a sense of purpose and significance and to be.... loved. Pause. You may...

The 90 day update - Dubuque Living

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What I want to do is paint a short picture of what my first 3 months in Iowa have been like. Where I started and how it's going. Iowa was never a destination I had in mind when I thought about my future but here we are... I might even be getting an Iowa license / plate soon (because insurance).  The Beginning - Dubuque was not what I expected (so hilly and squished). It wasn't flat like the rest of the midwest and all I could think was about how sad I was that I wasn't going to be able to ride my bike in the same way I had previously. Trust me, these are like mini-mountains some of the grades on these hills. - The Lord provided early with an apartment (it's doable and a space that's mine. A place I'd want to be long term? No, but it's a start) - The job was a rough start for me. There's always a learning curve with something new, but this was also learning an entire culture that has deep roots. Honestly, I cried every day after work for probably 3 weeks....

Discipleship & the 3-Prong Life

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2 years ago I sat in a session at a women's retreat where the breakout speaker, who happens to be a 3-prong friend of mine, walked through the differences between being alone and loneliness. Then she went on to talk about the need for having a 3-prong life, based on Jennie Allen's book  Find Your People (if you haven't read or listened to it, you need to!). The idea is that a 3 prong outlet is safer and stronger than any other kind. We've all plugged things into weak outlets. What happens?? The cord falls out and the thing stops working, then we huff and puff and grunt getting up from the couch to go and tenderly plug it back in. But, imagine that same scenario now with a 3-prong outlet. You plug that appliance in and BAM... you almost have to use both hands to pull that sucker back out of the wall. ________________________________ As I have walked through life over the past, almost 2 years, I have heard and felt more and more the need for a 3-prong life. But what does ...

Soup & Salad Invitation

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I was listening to a podcast recently and the woman who was sharing said that she had interacted with another woman at her church who said that she often makes a huge pot of soup and some salad, on a Sunday morning, and will intentionally look for people sitting alone in service to invite them over for a meal with her and her family. And. I. Loved. That. I have said this before, and I will say it again... invite singles over, even into the mess. Invite singles into your life, into the 'mundane' of errand running and laundry folding. Invite them to the athletic events and the theater performances. Let them be part of your family.  For whatever reason, the Lord has not deemed it time (now or maybe ever) to give them a spouse or family of their own, but they are ever much as created for relationship as someone who the Lord has deemed time to be married/have a family. And, for the love, quit seeing or telling singles that they are less valuable or that their lives will be incomplet...