Grief - It's Okay

Grief. How does someone wrestle with the wounds it leaves? 

It's a fog that covers a valley. It's a g-force against our lungs like we're on one of those carnival rides that spins so fast, you're pinned to a wall. It's a cloud that specifically rains on you when everything and everyone else is basking in sunshine. It's a numbness that can feel like an emotional void. And like a spinning record, it plays over and over again.

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes from all sorts of occasions. There could be a seasonal grief due to weather changes and the days getting darker earlier after sunshine and late nights and warmth kissed you all summer. There's the grief of change: you move, you start a job / job ends, a bad grade occurs, your body isn't doing things the way it used to, and injury changes the course of what you thought life would look like. Then there's the relational grief. This is the one that surrounds you when you lose a relationship, when there's relational tension, a break up happens, a divorce occurs... a death takes place.

And the thing about grief is, there is no magic number. There's no way to say, "I am going to grieve for 10 days and then be done" and just move on. Some things may take less time to grieve than others and many griefs are healed over time, but time is the key word. And even at that, if you walk with Jesus, we know time doesn't heal a thing. In and of itself it's not living but rather, Christ heals all things and usually that happens over a span of time. 

I've dealt with some grief in my life. I've watched others deal with grief. I've cried when re-telling stories that happened 6-8 years prior because the grief was deep and the wound, though not fresh, still ached. And that's okay. It's okay that something is still tender even though you've felt it healed. It's okay to grieve what was and what won't be anymore. 

For me, grief has turned into testimony. It's become part of my story that I get to share with others and, on occasion, help them through some things they might be going through. There is redemption in grief and sorrow but that may not always feel like full restoration. I don't know if there will be full restoration on this side of heaven, in every grief-filled circumstance, but I know there will be one day.. and that's the hope to cling to.

But until then, until everything is restored and made new... whatever the grief, no matter how distant or close, it's a real thing. I pray that today you feel the freedom to just grieve what you need to. The freedom to cry and yell and sleep and question. The freedom to throw it as hard as you can at the feet of Jesus, knowing that He can handle it even if you are confused as to why he allowed it in the first place. The freedom to still get a little emotional when telling a story, even 15 years later, because the scar still exists. And if your grief started today, expected or un... I pray that your wounds will be healed over time, but it's okay that it's not today.