Ash & Evergreens

    My senior year of college, I took an online course called "critical thinking". This course's objective was to get one to do exactly what the title says, think critically. In one of the books, the author talked about something called an "aha" moment which is when a thought or pattern smacks you in the face and you begin to process information from a different point of view. And let me tell you, as soon as I had a term to put with the action/feeling, many "aha" moments began to smack me up one side and down the other.     Many "aha" moments come when we begin to step outside of ourselves to look at a situation or the Lord's wisdom dawns on us and we get thrown back onto our hind-ends. Some "aha" moments come when debating someone, some come from just listening and not being defensive, some from learning how others do life and not expecting them to do things the exact way you would do them, and some come from loss. The last op...

     Things haven't always been smooth in my relationship but it's been such a beautiful time of growth and learning to love someone deeply is no easy task. It takes time and effort and for me, it took a softening of the heart that I hadn't felt for a long time! But not everything is meant to be perfect all of the time and what seemed something that could be pushed through came crumbling down 5 days ago.      My boyfriend of 8 months and 27 days broke up with me. There was a lot to it but basically it came down to long distance getting the best of us and him figuring out that maybe he wasn't quite as ready as he thought for such a committed relationship. Monday, the 19th the fateful words were swapped: "So, are you breaking up with me?" "....yes...". Tears instantly welled up in my eyes, no, they more like poured forth from the depths of my heart. My first ever relationship and it was done. This is the man I thought I was going to marry and have a ...

    What happens when everything you are and knew yourself to be crumbles and you're left wondering "who am I"? At what point do you start again to pick up the crumbling pieces to make the masterpiece whole again? Well, here's a hint, YOU don't. But He can if you let him.      Well, how did all of this start for me? Let me take you back to middle school and high school. In middle school and throughout high school, I knew exactly who I was. I was an athlete, I was respected by my teachers and coaches and most of my peers (I think), I was confident and a leader, good at public speaking, I was kind and cared deeply about my friends, and I didn't trade who I was in Christ to fit in.  (And as I type all of those things, I hear a little voice in the back of my mind saying "girl, you were priiiiiiiiiiiideful".)    I got to college with all of that in me and I quickly learned that who I was was starting to slip away because I was now in a place where...

   Today I come with senior thoughts. I am in my last semester as a senior and this year has been both beautiful and difficult at the same time. 1. Goodbye to the New: When I was a freshman and sophomore, one of my dearest friends was an upper class-man and she would say "you'd be surprised at how many new friends you can make even in your last year". I didn't know that I would get to experience that but I have. I have made new friends that I will truly be sad to leave. I have made friends that listen and love and search for the Lord and what better community is there than that? I find myself asking the Lord sometimes why he gave me particular friendships in my last semester of college- you know, the ones that are really dear but you actually only ever get to scratch the surface. 2. Goodbye to the Old: I am excited for the next chapter in my life. I am excited for what's to come and what I am going to do and who I'm going to meet. I hear both things about ...