From Whole to Pieces... to whole again.

    What happens when everything you are and knew yourself to be crumbles and you're left wondering "who am I"? At what point do you start again to pick up the crumbling pieces to make the masterpiece whole again? Well, here's a hint, YOU don't. But He can if you let him.
     Well, how did all of this start for me? Let me take you back to middle school and high school. In middle school and throughout high school, I knew exactly who I was. I was an athlete, I was respected by my teachers and coaches and most of my peers (I think), I was confident and a leader, good at public speaking, I was kind and cared deeply about my friends, and I didn't trade who I was in Christ to fit in. 
(And as I type all of those things, I hear a little voice in the back of my mind saying "girl, you were priiiiiiiiiiiideful".)
   I got to college with all of that in me and I quickly learned that who I was was starting to slip away because I was now in a place where no one really knew me and everyone had been a leader for something from where they came. I was no longer who I had been in middle school and high school. At this point is when people try and reinvent themselves but I liked who I was so I tried to be the same and at certain points I rose to the occasion but I never could get a good foothold. As college went on and I finally graduated, I thought I was good and was firm in who I was and ready to take what I had learned and go out into the world and change it for the better! 
   (As you can see, there is a lot of a certain letter throughout everything being written currently). 
     Well, then towards the beginning of my last semester of school a boy walked into my life. And I took everything I had known and practiced and prayed for and thought I would take on this relationship and show just how loving and caring I was. Unfortunately, I didn't learn quickly enough that it took much more than my own strength to love someone else to that degree and so there have been bumps in the road that haven't been pleasant (no worries, we are learning and growing together through it all because he has actually been seeking the Lord's love and not his own- what a man). 
    And all of that has brought me to this point of just feeling...unworthy and insignificant. I have never felt those things in my entire life and it's all been brought about within my own heart and mind. I have begun to realize that everything I once was is no longer who I am and I am stuck asking the question... well who am I then?
    When you get to the point of asking this question, where do you turn? I think it's so easy to get lost in these questions and immediately turn to other people or the media or even "feel good" books and seminars to find out who we are again. But that's just another human being telling you (a human being) who you should be and that's really not going to help a ton.
     Rather, where should we turn when everything has come crumbling down? Our new "blank slate" needs to be filled with truths about who we are by Christ's estimate because he is the one who created us. 
    We need to be filled with the only one who can completely fill us. We need to remind ourselves of truth: I am loved. I am cherished. I am renewed. I am worthy. I am redeemed. I am a daughter (or son) of the most high King. I am Light. I have been transformed. I am forgiven.
    These things might not give you exactly who you are when it comes to living in this world but they give you fundamental truths about who the Creator of the Universe says you are and honestly, if we build our lives up on anything outside of who He says we are then our worlds are going to crumble. But he is the Healer and he puts our pieces back together. He is my Healer and He is putting my pieces back together.