Ash & Evergreens

I wrote this post back in December 18, 2022 and never published it but with Christmas around the corner and joining my family in reading a chapter of Luke a day to celebrated Advent, I decided to circle back around to it. I know it may be taboo to read into how a Biblical character might have felt or what they might have thought, but adding personification to the people that we read so much about felt like an exciting venture. And besides that, The Chosen TV series came out around that time and it brought so many characters to life... giving them thoughts, feelings, and emotions so I felt that maybe I was in the clear (I mean, now anytime I read Jesus's words in Scripture, I hear Jonathan Roumie's voice). Below is my mind's rendering of how I imagined Mary (and Joseph) felt and what they might have thought the days leading up to and the night of Christ's birth.  --- What do you mean, I'm pregnant? Pregnant... at 15... with the coming Messiah?! I can't show my a...

Grief. How does someone wrestle with the wounds it leaves?  It's a fog that covers a valley. It's a g-force against our lungs like we're on one of those carnival rides that spins so fast, you're pinned to a wall. It's a cloud that specifically rains on you when everything and everyone else is basking in sunshine. It's a numbness that can feel like an emotional void. And like a spinning record, it plays over and over again. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes from all sorts of occasions. There could be a seasonal grief due to weather changes and the days getting darker earlier after sunshine and late nights and warmth kissed you all summer. There's the grief of change: you move, you start a job / job ends, a bad grade occurs, your body isn't doing things the way it used to, and injury changes the course of what you thought life would look like. Then there's the relational grief. This is the one that surrounds you when you lose a relationship, when the...

'Are you an Enneagram 2 or are you a woman in ministry" was a question that was posed to me about 2 years ago and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I was shocked when those words floated through the air and made their way into my brain. I didn't know if I should be offended, appalled, or if it was actually something I should genuinely consider. Whatever you might think of the enneagram, I have found it (like other personality assessments) to be a helpful tool in understanding how different people think and operate. As long as I'd known of it, I'd tested and claimed to be an Enneagram 2 (The Helper), with a wing 3 (The Achiever). When that question was posed to me, I was fairly adamant that I was a 2w3 based on the core fears and desires of that type. And if you don't know the language, a 2's core fear is being unloved, so they will do anything and everything to serve other people to feel a sense of purpose and significance and to be.... loved. Pause. You may...