When Everything is New


Recently, I moved to Dubuque, Iowa. Recently I moved to Dubuque, Iowa by myself with as much as I could fit into my vehicle. Moving is exciting and magical and watching God provide is so cool and amazing in many ways. But does anyone every talk about the difficult side of it? Where you show up to a city you've never been to and a workplace you've never been to? Where you move into a place and don't know the people around you? Where you don't have community or social circles yet so you take yourself for walks every evening after work around the park behind your complex and stop to watch people playing pickleball for about 20 minutes or so before you continue your walk back to your apartment and then sit and watch a movie, get ready for bed, and do it all again? I make that sound so sad... but it's not. I mean some parts are but as a whole, it's not meant to be. 

It's just quiet. 

It's uninterrupted me time. Well... me and Jesus. 

The pace for the last few years of my life has been consistent. Go, go, and go some more. There have been quieter times, but not in the same way. I've moved before but each time was essentially straight into community of sorts. When I moved to Chicago for college, I had the women's basketball team and the floor I was living on. When I moved to Appleton, WI, I had the other residents and the church staff of the team I was on. There were planned events, dinners, meetings, and outings for each of those. 

But no one really plans events, dinners, meetings, or outings when you move to take a job. You sort of jump into a spot and get going, meeting people along the way and finding the new rhythms of life. It's not lost on me that the first week somewhere new is unique... it's the first week. It's always going to be its own thing.

It's quiet existing in a new place by yourself before things get going and people are found. It's quiet when you're unpacking your apartment and getting it settled. It's quiet when you make eggs and ramen for dinner in your little kitchen. It's quiet when you go for walks every night. It's the quiet existence that makes it so sweet in this early season of life. It makes me feel small in a good way?

It makes me take in my surroundings and spend time with the Lord in a brand new way. It makes me have to stretch and grow in the stillness. It makes me realize more that I am okay to just be with myself. I like myself enough to be only me (and no, that doesn't mean anything about not desiring a man). I don't need to fill the quiet space prematurely but will also say yes to invites and conversations that involve getting to know people. 

This is going to be a different season, I just know it. This chapter feels like an open book that is laying in a field on a blue-sky-sunny-day, with its pages being flipped by a gentle breeze. It's redemptive, not without hardship, and quiet.... even on busy or crazy days.

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