Refinement is a process: You mean to tell me, I'm not perfect??

   I was sitting drinking my coffee this morning, reminiscing on a tough conversation I had with a friend last night. I was thinking back through the things said and frustrations shared. You know, tough conversations are really fun to have, and they are EVEN MORE fun when you are the reason the conversation is happening. Now I know what you're thinking, "Alex, you mean to tell me that you don't say the right thing every single time and you're not the perfect friend, sister, daughter, etc?!?!?"
   I know this may come as a shock to some, but no, I actually am not. I mess up and I do so frequently. Now, thankfully I have people in my life that show me grace and still choose to be in my life but being faced with my own flaws and short-comings and fears is only so much fun. I think facing them is incredibly necessary, though. I asked this multi-question...question on my instagram story this morning: Coffee Thoughts.
      "What do you do when you come face to face with your own flaws? When you come to the end of yourself and all you're left with is to cry out to God because filling life with any other distractions isn't working anymore? Do you run from them because you want the world to think you're perfect and happy all the time? Because you have a status to maintain? Or do you embrace them head on and try to learn and work on changing, knowing that working through them will only help you and your future relationships? Letting the Lord cultivate a heart that looks more like him. "

    I think I have done a ton of growing over the past couple of years. I've worked through things that I never thought I would have to/didn't know existed. But the thing is, there will always be things to work on. And that's sometimes frustrating to me because I want to have worked through them and conquered them. I want to stand victorious and laugh at how I used to act/react to certain things (the day after I'm confronted with them of course).
   But the truth of the matter is, refinement is a process and majority of the time, it's a slow process. It's one of extreme heat and molding, shaping, and beating until you come out the other side a new and beautiful creation. When I am faced with my own faults, it's hard to not beat myself up, even after grace has been extended. And if it were always only up to me, I would get nowhere. But thankfully, I don't change in my own strength. I humbly kneel before the throne, casting aside my pride and image and ask the Lord to be my Potter (as He already is) and re-mold the ugly parts of my heart.
    He has already extended grace to us, knowing full-well how He created us and where we would fall short. It's then extending grace to ourselves, others, and accepting the grace shown to us when we're wrong. Accepting grace shown to me when I'm wrong.
 

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