My current Journey of Humility in Ministry Roles

"Go Forth" is what I said to a girl in my small group who was visiting for the first time, as she was leaving. This was after I had already said "good to see you again" (never had met her before) and something else in my flustered mess of words. It was in this moment that I realized the Lord was about to sit me on my butt for the upcoming season of being in leadership roles. And can I tell you? It's been 3 weeks since that evening and each week something has happened that has made me have to drop my head in disbelief (laughing) and completely humble myself.
    Back in March, the Lord kind of scooted a leadership role into my life with a ministry at church called young professionals. This ministry is for those who are transitioning out of college age ministry and are moving into the post-college/adult life. We're a bunch of 20-to-35-something-year-olds who are trying to do this thing called life, but together in community. We broke for the summer and have now reconvened and God has been like "you're in a leadership role here but I'm going to continue to humble you each week in different ways". Then the Lord called me to lead a small group of adult women between the ages of early 20's to early 30's starting back in August. Now I get double dosages! YES! JUST WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR.
    If you know anything about me, I take positions of leadership seriously and want to do the best I possibly can in them. I get excited and picture all these awesome things the groups/teams could do and the amazing groups we could be if "this, this, and this" happened and it's all in my head and my ideas (hint the word: my). I was excited to take on these roles and step into a part of me that I know God has created/given me the ability to do but very quickly I realized that I wasn't fully letting him lead.
   When there's been something semi-embarrassing said or done by me every single week so far, I have the choice to run and hide or laugh and be incredibly humbled by whatever just happened. Now, I may have done a mixture of both of those options at points, but at the end of the day, I am acutely aware that the Lord is like "hey Alex, yes, I've called you to these roles but your focus needs to be 100% on me and not your plans because it's not about you". Okay, God.
   To finish out, I'm thankful for how he's getting my attention, consistently, even if I do turn a little red because it helps me to remember each week where my focus needs to be. If it's not on Him, I fail pretty dang fast. Humanizing. Humbling.

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