"Forgiveness > Resentment"


   Have you ever felt the weight of someone's unforgiveness towards you? Have you ever felt the weight of your own unforgiveness towards someone else? Yesterday, our sermon was titled "Forgiveness Over Resentment" and it was so well done. I will include a link to it at the end of this post but I wanted to write on it a little bit. What is a time in your life where you needed to forgive someone and it took everything in you to do it? Or maybe the reverse happened. When was a time that you wronged someone and desperately needed their forgiveness? What did either of those times look like?
 
I believe there are 4 versions/options/levels/what have you of forgiveness.

   Forgiveness by definition is: "to cease to feel resentment against (an offender)" (Websters)
It is the ceasing of feeling resentment towards someone. Ceasing resentment, forgiveness, not making them pay for what they have done any more. Sometimes forgiveness happens quickly and sometimes, it takes months or years to truly accept or give. But what needs to be realized is that.... it is something that needs to take place. And really, it needs to be said in words. I will repeat myself a lot over the next few paragraphs but forgiveness ultimately goes back to one source so, sorry not sorry.
   
    V/O/L 1. Seeking forgiveness. Forgiveness is something that should first take place as if you were looking in a mirror. If you were the wrongdoer then before even thinking about how the other person has wronged you, look at where you were wrong. Come to terms with where you fell short and be humble enough to bring it before them and ask for forgiveness (with intent to change). From there, you have done your part and how they respond is not up to you. Remember, being kind and apologizing never hurts your case when it's genuine and sincere. If they refuse to forgive you or "forgive you" then lean into Christ and let him handle the rest and do not let them steal any more of your joy (Romans 12:19-21)
 
   V/O/L 2.  Giving Forgiveness. Remember, we have first been forgiven by Christ, and that was completely undeserved. If you were the person who had wrong done against them, remember that. It takes courage and strength to forgive someone who wronged you (whatever the degree) but as it was said yesterday "It is nearly impossible to truly be close with the Lord and hold resentment in your heart". Forgiving someone does not mean you will be their best bud or even that you will forget what happened, but it does mean there is some sort of reconciliation of that broken relationship because you are no longer making them pay for their wrong doings by not speaking/showing forgiveness.  (Colossians 3:12-14)
 
   V/O/L 3. Forgiving yourself. Maybe you and the other person have already reconciled and are at peace. But something inside of you aches. That something might just be the inability to truly forgive yourself for the hurt you've caused. It takes time to forgive oneself but don't be a prisoner to yourself anymore. Christ and the other person have forgiven you and it's time to walk in the freedom that has already been laid out before you. Do your best to let go for you have been redeemed. (2 Corinthians 5:17-19)

 V/O/L 4. Forgiving when it hasn't been asked for. This is one of the most humbling I think. This is you saying "I forgive you even though you haven't asked for it nor have you realized the hurt you've caused but because Christ has first forgiven me, I will extend it to you." Maybe they don't realize they've wronged you or their need forgiveness. Maybe they have only seen the speck in your eye and not yet seen the log in their own. Continuing, this option says "God, you have softened my heart in order to forgive them of something they don't deserve forgiveness for and now I am going to break free of these chains that bitterness in my heart has harbored for too long. This is fully yours."

-Here is the link to the sermon, broken down much better than I could ever write. Take a look-

http://newvisionlife.com/sermon/forgiveness-over-resentment/
 

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