C.L.E.M.S.O....N

     Last weekend, I went to Clemson, SC to visit one of my friends. We went to a Clemson football game, went to a corn maze and did fall things, and just spent good quality time together. But God did things in my heart that weekend that I did not see coming.
    Since August, my heart has had a hard time re-adjusting to life. I went from being a super tender-hearted kid who constantly wore her heart on her sleeve and got a hurt a lot to a kid who had a hard time caring at all, not having empathy towards much. I was tired of hurting, so the best way to fix that was to put up walls and not care at all....so I thought (which is so unlike me). I was having a hard time finding that balance between letting things roll off my back and still be intentional and tender-hearted.
     Well, God works in his way and his timing and I didn't know that he was going to use my weekend in Clemson to shift my heart and mind. As I have been praying for an adjusted heart and have had others praying for me, it happened. The Lord used a couple different circumstances this past weekend to show me that he is giving me a new balance. A tough and tender balance. One that can still care but not get hurt every single time. The tenderness/compassion was now in how he can meet needs of people around me, through me. Maybe people I do not even know. He has given me a spirit of intentionality and compassion and he showed me how to use those gifts in particular ways. 
     I am not going to share those stories because, though they are cool to see how He works, I don't feel it is necessary. However, what is necessary is listening to God's prompts and calls. What is necessary is acting upon the gifts he has given you in order to expand his kingdom and have so much peace. Coming back to school after this past weekend has given me just a new perspective. My heart and mind and spirit literally feel lighter because of the grace he has given to me. It takes time and seeking him even in the midst of confusion and anger to reap the full benefits of his grace and love. 
     This is something that is a fight. It's not something that will come easy every day. But it is something that I can now strive for and work towards. God's grace is sufficient in my weakness and to be able to see how he works in my life and the lives of others is such an incredible thing. 

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