love unconditionally, even when it hurts. then love some more
Today, I finally finished "Kisses from Katie." It's taken me almost a year to get though, but I did it. I loved the book every step of the way and it has taught me a lot. And every time I read it, it spoke to that moment in my life. I can't help but think that is God at work. His timing.
I've been having some struggles with a friend recently. I've listened to all her drama and cared and given two cents when necessary. However, now i'm being treated as if I'm a weirdo alien person. ha.
This was what I was hoping against this time. 7. 7 other people this has happened with. God calls me to care for and love on them through their struggle and just when we become close friends, the friendship falls apart. It's super weird and it hurts like CRAZY. I don't understand it. At all. The care and love I so sincerely need the most isn't given to me, I only can give it. Why God? Why does this happen to me? For years I have prayed fo a best friend. I see the happiness that my other friends have with theirs. I try to be that for people, but it's never reciprocated...then I get called weird. Obviously, there is bigger purpose behind these attempts and fails.
I notice that I am most content when I completely rely on Christ's strength. I have not always been like this, but as I've gotten older, I recognize that and it's not an easy thing. I know who I am in Christ and that I still have a lot of room to learn and grow. However, I am most stable when others are unstable and my stability counteracts their instability, I guess. So, though I get no reciprocated care and love from friends like I give out, I get it from God because He wants me to find my complete strength and hope in Him. He teaches me that this is not our home. This world is only temporary and I don't always remember that. So, when I cry tears of hurt and desperately want someone besides family, He reminds me...I am not alone and He is training me for something bigger than myself.
I'm being "put through my paces" as a 17 year old. My mom says that these times of trial are just training grounds for whatever God's plan for me in the future is. She says that there is a purpose in all of this. that He has given me a heart for others, to help them through their difficulties and even though it's left me hurting and sometimes bitter, He wants me to rely completely on Him.
I can't help but find comfort in this. I want to do God's will for my life and I have a big heart. And though I realize I get hurt more often than not I just have to Love unconditionally...then Love some more. Just as He loves me.
This ties in to "kisses from Katie" because of a lot of things she wrote in the last couple of chapters of her book.
"God, are you really asking me to do this?" ~ "God said, 'I think you know the answer. You don't actually wonder if I'm asking you to do this. You are just afraid of the inconvenience it may cause you...."
"I believe when He said to love my neighbor as myself, He really meant to care for others as I would care for my family or Myself, and I would never let my family or myelf live in such conditions...."
"Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It's about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown."
"I call it faith. I chose to get out of the boat. Sometimes I walk straight into his arms. More often, I get scared and look down and stumble. Sometimes I almost comletely drown. And through it all, He never lets go of my hand."
"When harsh words are easier to find than kind ones, let me choose You."
"We must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate joy. Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it."
"To love unconditionally. Absolutely, with all of ourselves, so much that it hurts and then more...."
For His Glory.
I've been having some struggles with a friend recently. I've listened to all her drama and cared and given two cents when necessary. However, now i'm being treated as if I'm a weirdo alien person. ha.
This was what I was hoping against this time. 7. 7 other people this has happened with. God calls me to care for and love on them through their struggle and just when we become close friends, the friendship falls apart. It's super weird and it hurts like CRAZY. I don't understand it. At all. The care and love I so sincerely need the most isn't given to me, I only can give it. Why God? Why does this happen to me? For years I have prayed fo a best friend. I see the happiness that my other friends have with theirs. I try to be that for people, but it's never reciprocated...then I get called weird. Obviously, there is bigger purpose behind these attempts and fails.
I notice that I am most content when I completely rely on Christ's strength. I have not always been like this, but as I've gotten older, I recognize that and it's not an easy thing. I know who I am in Christ and that I still have a lot of room to learn and grow. However, I am most stable when others are unstable and my stability counteracts their instability, I guess. So, though I get no reciprocated care and love from friends like I give out, I get it from God because He wants me to find my complete strength and hope in Him. He teaches me that this is not our home. This world is only temporary and I don't always remember that. So, when I cry tears of hurt and desperately want someone besides family, He reminds me...I am not alone and He is training me for something bigger than myself.
I'm being "put through my paces" as a 17 year old. My mom says that these times of trial are just training grounds for whatever God's plan for me in the future is. She says that there is a purpose in all of this. that He has given me a heart for others, to help them through their difficulties and even though it's left me hurting and sometimes bitter, He wants me to rely completely on Him.
I can't help but find comfort in this. I want to do God's will for my life and I have a big heart. And though I realize I get hurt more often than not I just have to Love unconditionally...then Love some more. Just as He loves me.
This ties in to "kisses from Katie" because of a lot of things she wrote in the last couple of chapters of her book.
"God, are you really asking me to do this?" ~ "God said, 'I think you know the answer. You don't actually wonder if I'm asking you to do this. You are just afraid of the inconvenience it may cause you...."
"I believe when He said to love my neighbor as myself, He really meant to care for others as I would care for my family or Myself, and I would never let my family or myelf live in such conditions...."
"Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It's about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown."
"I call it faith. I chose to get out of the boat. Sometimes I walk straight into his arms. More often, I get scared and look down and stumble. Sometimes I almost comletely drown. And through it all, He never lets go of my hand."
"When harsh words are easier to find than kind ones, let me choose You."
"We must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate joy. Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it."
"To love unconditionally. Absolutely, with all of ourselves, so much that it hurts and then more...."
For His Glory.
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